The first few months and years of your marriage are the “sexperiment” years, the both of you are still on the verge of excitement and you are still willing to allow yourself to be infused with adrenaline and sex drive. Thus, sex is exciting and the two of you are still “happily married.” However, it is but a sad truth when you and your partner have reached the period when all the firework moments have settle down and nookies have become less frequent and orgasms are forced, if not faked.
When you are in a long term relationship, one of the most common dilemmas is spicing things up in the bedroom since you two have already had sex many times and you have probably maximized all the possible techniques and ideas which all the love gurus can ever think of.
Men’s Sexual Drive versus Women’s Sexual Excitement
What everyone needs to know is that men, in nature are sexually keyed up and may all willing to bang it anytime of the day compared to women. This libido and drive increases or maintains even until they are at their 50’s which could be in contrast with the women’s decreasing sexual excitement as they reached their tender age. Differences in sexual eagerness at this stage become the ultimate reason why men tend to look for a more willing and more experimental partner who can fulfill their undying desires. This is where extra-marital affairs and broken marriages come in because one can no longer fulfill the other’s needs and desires. Gone are the promises of “forever and ‘til death do us part.”
Let us address the Issue
Since you are already aware with these differences, it is best that you two try to resolve the issue at hand and compromise if possible to be able to prevent from ruining your marriage while keeping your desires fulfilled. You can check the following ideas that will help you gain your once-electrifying-bed-moments back with your partner.
Experiment New Things
When everything becomes monotonous and repetitive, you can opt to try new things that will excite both parties and re-awake your slumbering sexual drives. If you do it every time the clock hits 9’O’clock in the evening and it has become another item in your to-do-list that you need to scratch off every day, most likely it become so boring and adds additional pressure just like your daily job.
You can also try having sex in your staircase, your living room and even in your garage just to bring the thrill of getting caught back. If you are expecting guests after an hour, you can have sex on the same couch where they are going to sit later so when the time they arrived, the only place which attracts the both of you is the couch which has witnessed your lovemaking.
Travel for Two
You can always take a vacation and explore new things and places together. With this, it will bring back your boyfriend-girlfriend stage when the both of you are still so in love and sexually driven.
When you travel together, both of you are exposed to a whole new exciting experience and are away from the usual sights you encounter daily. The focus is on the adventure ahead of you and the companion you have. You are away from usual distractions such as your boss, your work and your boring bedroom.
Communicate More and Communicate Honestly
There is nothing in this world that cannot be resolved if properly communicated. Thus, if you feel like your wife is spending more time on the couch and prefers to hug her favorite pillow since 3rd grade, it is best to talk to her and tell her how you would like your relationship to stay as exciting and thrilling as you previously had and that you feel like you are being left alone to cater your own needs.
Always remind each other that you are lifetime partners since the day you both made your wedding vows. With this, you can always find solutions and talk things through if there are things that need to be done and compromised.
You have decided to spend the rest of your life together; you have gone through a lot of things and challenges. Thus, you are very aware that whatever is lacking in your midnight experiments can only be found and fulfilled through you and your partner. Always remember that there is nothing that other woman can give you that your wife cannot. All you have to do is tickle your way through her bored and slumbering libido, experiment a little and don’t forget to ask and tell her what you want. It may take a little patience but you know deeply that it is still there; the crazy sex scenes and exhilarating drives will always be there awaiting for her Prince Charming to wake them up once more.